About a year ago, I was in a dilemma over a guy, lets call him Bert. Basically there was a drunken flirtation, which could have led to something, but me being my usual dense self didn't realise until days later.
I regretted not doing anything at the time - another missed opportunity - especially since I had no means for contacting this guy. So I did what any normal psycho would do... tracked him down on facebook!
Aah facebook and the endless stalking opportunities that it provides...
After maintaining about four days of facebook surveillance, I decided to send him a message:
"I may be wrong about this but i keep thinking that you asked to come back to mine last friday. If you did and I said no, I hope you didn't take it personally. It's not you (I actually think you're quite fit), I'm just not that sort of girl. If you didn't and this is just a figment of my drunken imagination, please ignore this message (which i will deny sending anyway)"
Now most people reading this are probably cringing for me, but I don't regret this. I can actually read this message and laugh, and actually feel a sense of growth....as this is A LOT less psycho than a previous escapade
Different guy and sober flirtation, but still my usual dense self. With this guy, lets call him Ernie, I met him exactly once, at least I had spent some time with Bert before the drunken night of almost-debauchery. Anyway, after a couple of hours of sober flirtation, I realised that another opportunity had been missed.
He said: "Maybe I will see you here again"
My response: "I only usually come here once a year"
DUH! This I regret! And any normal person will regret what followed - correction, no normal person would do this!
Firstly, I found him on facebook, which was quite easy as he has an unusual name. But he had like government-level security settings, you couldn't poke or send a message, not even add as a friend. Plus there was no access to any information, just an out-of-focus pic and his name.
After months of facebook surveillance, in the vain hope that he would change his settings, I got creative. Facebook is not the only web-based stalking tool. I'm not going to reveal my methods - do you seriously want more psycho internet-based stalking activities? But I found his address - crazy enough I know, but I actually used it, to write to him. That's a whole bucketful of crazy right there. He then emailed back, I took this as a good sign. However, the main purpose of his email seemed to be to enquire: "how (the hell) did you get my address?" I should have taken this as a sign that maybe my contact had frightened him somewhat, and that it would probably be a good idea to dial down the crazy. No, honesty is the best policy, lets relay to my frightened stalkee the extreme lengths I have gone to. His response - a polite reply, which contained his intention to never return to London again... I think that might be code for "I have taken a restraining order out on you, you raving lunatic!"
I do not regret this though, in fact it is a running joke between myself and a select few.
So yes, I have a few regrets, but it has consistently been the things I haven't done, the missed opportunities. The things that I have done, no matter how certifiable, I haven't regretted and (so far) they have caused me no harm. So my advice to you, embrace your inner crazy... but I'm clearly insane, so only you can decide whether you're mad enough to follow that advice.
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